i am bluddy exhausted from all the helter-skelter over the last 4 days.
the boy's family came to town,
and for some reason it has just been overly draining.

perhaps it is because ive gotten used to being a bum.
or perhaps it is because ive had to sorta be not so me for 4 whole days.

i dunno.
anyway.

for 3 days it seemed like the boy's mother wasnt too fond of me.
not that she was being rude or anything like that.
but she never seemed to really look at me,
or want to talk to me much.
even when she did,
it seemed like she wasnt really interested in my replies and was only talking to me for the sake of talking to me.

i noticed it from the first night,
but the boy didnt seem to think anything was wrong,
and reasoned it away with the fact that his mother was tired.

finally last night he agreed with me about all the above that i'd mentioned to him everyday since the first night i met his family,
and today he had a talk to her.

apparently she doesnt think anything bad,
and then when we went to see them for dinner,
she got me a present.
a hp strap thingy and a really super cute turtle stuffed toy from the aquariam they went to see today.

i guess it was really nice of her.
but i dunno.
im not sure i will get over the thinking that she didnt really like me,
and only was nice to me tonight because josh said something to her.
she was also x1000 more friendly toward me tonight.

i guess its good that at least his step-daddy thinks that i am a nice girl and that josh is lucky...
although im not quite sure how true that is.

anyway.
last night was the meeting of the 2 families,
which for a multitude of reasons was the cause of my stress for like 2 weeks up until the time it was over at about 1030 last night.

i almost wanted to kill myself when my stupid mother,
who said she wouldnt say grace because they arent Christians,
SAID GRACE, and thanked God for bringing the SUTCLIFFES over or whatever,
when like she knew that only the boy and his mum's surnames were sutcliffe because vin is his step-dad!!!!

like omg omg omg.

and then like why the hell do my parents have to choose a chinese restuarant when the people you are meeting are ang moh?
like wtf kind of host are you?

anyway im glad that is all over.
it went as well as a first meeting could be i guess.
fakeness and niceness and all.

im such a skeptic.

sat night we went rollerskating/blading in a rollerskating rink.
my ankles and my thighs still hurt,
and my left bum is sore from falling down.

they made me go to a footy game yesterday (good experience, im not complaining).
which wasnt that exciting. especially when youve never ever watched an aussie rules football game in your life even though its on tv all the fucking time,
and 1 team is super shit and cant even get the ball to their goal post side and so whenever its their turn to be at the goal post youre sitting near to,
you dont get to see anything coz all the players are on the other side.

the team the boy's family came to support was so shit,
that even they decided to leave 3/4 way through.
which i think is quite funny.

and then today i had a big fight with my dad over the phone for 45mins.
about what i felt was him criticizing josh's decision to buy a car.

apparently he was just trying to help and give suggestions and advice. which i know.

but then why couldnt he have said it nicely...
you always criticize me when i do something wrong but never appreciate it when i do something right.... you want everyone to listen to what you say, and if they dont agree with you you think less of them...
have you ever thought that your opinion matters to me and that im always tryin to please you but youre never happy with me...
if not for you i would have moved out of this house long time ago...
blah blah blah.

too much crying for one day methinks.

oh well.

at least now he will be nice to me for a while.

after work i went to the boy's.
i was on the phone with him earlier in the day when my dad first rang me to give his 2 cents worth,
so after i spoke to my dad,
i switched the call back coz the boy was waitin on the other line.
and he knew i was upset coz i was crying and shit and i told him what happened.
but he didnt know about the major fight i had with my dad which was later in the afternoon.
and when he walked through the door coming home from work,
he had a pink flower for me.

and my father worries im going to end up with a shitty man.

i cant wait to just spend this weekend alone with you.