Tuesday, August 30, 2005

http://illusionx29.blogspot.com/2005/08/i-likeeee-this-carrrr.html

Later ; 2:39 AM ; 0 comments

Monday, August 29, 2005

no more 1 in front of my age for the next 80 yrs

-super. i just spent the last 30mins of my life in darkness. thanks to this city's extremely, i repeat, extremely, efficient power supply service. and transport. and..never mind u get the idea.

-20mins after i wake up, the electricity in the whole suburc decides to die. i was sleepin for a good 3+ hours. i wake up and they make me spend it in darkness. WITH CANDLES. HOW LAME IS THAT. better than groping around in the dark i suppose. does the fact that i turn 20 in 2 hrs time have any bearing on this candle-carryin incident. ah.

-went to uni today. i tried to take fotos of this skyline but it was gone by the time i could take a foto of it when i came outta the lib. and omg i saw the nicest supra today. took a foto but its hell blurry and far and isnt much worth lookin at if i post it up so i dont think i will. maybe. no spoiler...had these amazing rims..custom license plate..and it had these black stripes down the front and top and back of the car..car was white-based. gawd..

-been wanting to say this for a while now. why is it that the people you care about the most, are the ones who can hurt u the most and blah blah blah? like..if some normal friend says they'll call u back and they dont, u dont normally get heaps upset (even though its hell rude and sometimes it does upset). BUT..if some guy u know likes u, or someone ure goin out with, or someone thats heaps important to u does that, it can spoil ur whole day..u know? or other little things..like..i dunno..ignoring u for the whole day, not on purpose though, or standin u up..=/ and then u find urself liking and hating this person so much, at the same time. its ridiculous. or isnt it? i dunno. maybe thats just the way life is? either that or im weird. its like someone u dont really care about can ignore u, treat u like crap..and when they decide they wanna be nice, u readily accept their niceness and go on like they were ok all along. but when ur boyf or best fren does it, u make a big scene, ignore them, and resist their genuine pleas for understanding and forgiveness...WHAT IS IT WITH PEOPLE? well, what is it with me, more rightly. bah

Later ; 1:21 PM ; 0 comments

Sunday, August 28, 2005

http://illusionx29.blogspot.com/2005/08/drool-factor.html

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Saturday, August 27, 2005

http://illusionx29.blogspot.com/2005/08/i-dont-believe-this.html

Later ; 5:26 PM ; 0 comments

Sunday, August 21, 2005

http://illusionx29.blogspot.com/2005_08_01_illusionx29_archive.html

Later ; 3:33 PM ; 0 comments

Friday, August 19, 2005

maybe it'll be a good day.lets c how the rest of the nite goes

-hmx ok. finally have time for another post. after that day's huge vulgar whine. oops. sooo many things to say. as usual. maybe i shoulda stuck with that lawyer ambition. hmx is that being stereoptypical? to think that all lawyers have too damn much to say? but they're smart...have u seen their textbooks? ok. off tangent here..

-lemme seee...oOoOh i likE givin way to pple on the road =P coz they're sooO polite they always wave thanks to u! makes u wanna give way to more other pple even more..u know like in singapore (im sure other countries are rude too but im gonna pick on singapore coz i knowwwww very well what pple there are like), everyone is in such a hurry, even when they have no where to go..-_-..and no one wants to give way to those cars that wanna turn out onto the main road? here they actually stop and leave a space for pple to turn out, when the traffic light is red. they dont go and blardee stop right at the opening..u know what i mean. and then the cars that turn out on to the main road, always waves thanks to u for stopping..soooo nice!! i like..dunno wads wrong with me.. *goes for dinner* (lets see if im swearing at things again when i get bak) time: 1754hrs-1830hrs. wow. my parents are actually...happy..like laughing and uh..huggin kinda happy..my gawd. what the heck is happening..

-hmx..i was supposed to be on a skip dinner diet. that didnt work. obviously. oh well i ran for 30mins. on that exercise machine we have. and finished reading 1 chap of my stats book. i should do this more often. had 2 coffees today. obviously they are not workin coz i feel like sleepin. but when do i not feel like sleepin anyway.

-OMG the lecturer for this block of psyc 202 lectures is OMG OMG OMG. david sang. sum asian guy from i have no idea where. sounded hongkee but my fren says he sound malaysian. ah whatever. wtf im asian and i cant understand what he's talking about. i pity the damn australians. but...the first lecture content he gave..is parallel to one of my linguistics lectures. so goodie for me. hopefully the content will keep overlapping so i dun have do so much work. highly unlikely that will happen. but hoo doesnt hope.

-I HATE BLARDEE WORD LIMITS. DAMMIT! psyc lab reports used to be 1500 words. now for this one its 1000 limit. at first u think oh hooray less work. until u end up with 1400+ words, and u arent even finished with the damn report. im screwed. no hooray. and 1400 words is WITH CHEATING. i didnt count the words in the table. which is like 200 words. so more correctly im at 1600 words. unfinished.

-YES! there's law and oder special victims unit today. unless the tv guide is lying to me. which could very well be the case. considering ive been lied to the past few weeks. think im gettin interested in the law and order trial by jury version too. which is after special victims. woopee. shit. got another chap of stats to go. and finish up that psyc report. i dunno how the heck im gonna cut down on damn words.-i had so much to say before.now its all gone. right over my head.out of, rather.

oh well. till laterx then..

Later ; 9:46 AM ; 0 comments

Saturday, August 13, 2005

dumbladeedum


-ok its 5.02am. i dunno wad the hell's wrong with me. im a late sleeper. but this is gettin ridiculous. last nite i slept at 5am too. got woken up at 9+ by phone messages. A LOT OF MESSAGES. finally got outta bed at 1pm when markee rang the doorbell. after 3 failed attempts at callin me on my mobile. i'd actually dreamt that he crashed his car into the house 2 houses to the right of mine. seeing him at the door meant. that it WAS a dream. good. in my anxiety and the realization that he'd rung and i went back to sleep coz i was dreaming, i rushed so damn fast down to answer the door that i banged myself into the wall. not fully but half. DAMMIT!-went to karrinyup to shop for present for markee's fren..and get food..back at around 3..tried to study for a while. think i gave up and went to sleep again at 5.woke up n it was like 7+ if remember correctly. been studying since. WTF is wrong with me. so thats..about 10 hrs of studying. and a whole lotta stalling and distractions in between. who the hell takes 10 hrs to read 2 chapters of social psyc. thats 80pages. NOW U KNOW WHY IM ALWAYS STUDYING. COZ IM NOT REALLY STUDYING. GET IT. thats why i take so damn long. coz half the time im doin other crap. yeah yeah i know. but the computer is soooo conveniently in front of me ....and my finger always gravitates toward the power button..i cant help it.....

-shit i hate periods. not only is there a ton of things u cannot do. like sleep comfortably. run. swim. that...but now one more thing has made me detest this damn nonsense of a life cycle. i dont even want kids why do i have to have periods!!! i dun want the damn eggs. argh. okok gettin a bit feisty here. but seriously. I STAINED MY FRICKIN CHAIR LAH. TMD. never in my life have i stained anything. ok maybe once or twice. but this was ridiculous. argh. and now there's a nice patch. BIG PATCH coz i tried to scrub the shit out. anyone hoo is stupid enuff to ask me what happened to my chair when they see it, is gonna get peed on by me. ive had this chair for like. since i was pri 3 lah. and ive never so much as dropped a potato chip on it. and now this kinda thing has to happen. DAMMIT!

-i hate the damn birds. these birds have the retarded gene. they are singing and chirping and doin whatever the hell annoyin thing that birds do, AT THE WRONG TIMES. HELLO ure supposed to make noise in the MORNING. like AFTER 6am ok! not at 2am. wtf. makes me feel like its time to wake up. when i haven even gone to sleep. okok so maybe i am sleepin for pretty much the whole day anyway. but heck this is my blog i can complain as much as i want.-tmr's sat. geex. feels like ages since i went to uni. last day was weds. i have a 5 day weekend! woooohooo. self declared lah. coz i cant be bothered goin for lectures that i can listen to online at home. and plus i can have the lecture slides, and pause the damn thing whenever i want. they shd just make studying at home compulsory.

-ah maybe i shd go to bed. but im waitin for sumthing to finish DLing. oh well i'll just go find more things and places for me to complain about. i know. i make ur life feel soooooooooo much better.-i miss my babeeeee....u are sooooooooo cute...wtf that was random. ah well.

Later ; 8:17 PM ; 0 comments

Friday, August 12, 2005

-geex.seems that the tv guides and adverts are always lying to me. ITS SUPPOSED TO BE LAW AND ORDER SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT at 830pm on thurs dammit. its law and order instead. I WANT SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT!!! ah well im watchin the damn show anyways. ok and the movie ad for kung fu hustle is on tv. OUT IN CINEMAS NOW. oooooh how exciting -rolls eyes-

-went to bed at like 3am last nite. finally discovered how the heck to make the blog look nicer. yes, for those of u hoo dunno, im really dumb at all this. hence the ugly, boring-lookin blog for so long. was meant to get up at 11 this morning. finally dragged myself outta bed at abt 4. =/ not good. been reading my stats text for the last 5 hrs. well, 4. dad cooked fish n chips n nuggets for dinner. nice. except im having a slight tummy ache now. or is that coz im havin my period. oh yeah. period here. good. at least it didnt come in the middle of lecture. dammit i think i like stats now. beats having to memorize 40pages of words to write one essay. hopefully i continue likin it otherwise its gonna be a hell long process to graduating.

-tonite's mambo nite. yeah its thurs. but its this singapore society thing at uni and they organize this mambo thing every semester. just for those hoo dunno. seems like only yesterday or so i was at the last mambo nite. so many things have happened since then. and its only been 4 months. amazing.

-seems like only yesterday i got to know him for real. and then we spent the next month or so together. doin a hell lotta things. goin thru a hell lotta emotions. and seems like only yesterday that i lost her as a best friend. i gained someone, and lost someone. all in the same month. now its too late to get anyone back. coz he's too proud, and coz im too proud. so it looks like me n him will never go back to the way we were before, and me n her will never be friends again. its a hell lot more complicated than this, but im not gonna blab it all here coz u never know hoo the hell reads these things.

-life goes on i guess. actually, i know. they get on with their lives, u get on with urs. life can be better, or it can be just different. doesnt hafta be worse. its just not the same as it was when u had em around. thats all.

-its shitty and it hurts. it seems lately that everyone's someone is running off with someone else. or bad things are happening between people. i dunno. why dun pple just learn to get over things? i mean..its hard and it hurts and it sorta takes over ur life for a while..but doesnt it make it easier if u make ureslf get over it? why should u hafta suffer, when the cause of ur suffering is out there havin fun without u? whats the point? its not worth it, is it. if they're havin fun why shouldnt u. im not sayin drop it while its still hot, but dun sit around and mope about it all day long for the next 365 days of ur life. things get better if u let it. ive seen so many pple move on and are as happy or if not happier than they ever were. so let it go, as soon as u can, and keep on keepin on i guess. if someone doesnt want u anymore, then to hell with that. go out and find someone hoos deserving of all that u can give them. why waste it on someone hoo isnt worth it?

-i dunno why im harpin on about this. maybe its coz i keep seein frens get hurt and being so affected the things that've happened. i wish u guys could get over it sooner. coz u deserve better. and becoz there are so many other pple out there hoo care about u. u are hoo u are, and there's someone out there who's gonna appreciate u for all that u are. u just hafta find em. its a process of trial and error. mostly its error. but if u realize that as u live, u learn, u'll get there one day. slowly but surely. and when u do, u'll find that all the hurt was worth it.

-one more chapter to go for what ive planned to study today. guess i should get on with it. might write another post later dependin on what happens tonite. prolly wun go to mambo. dun wanna run into people that might kill the rest of the nite for me. and plus i dun feel like drivin all the way down and paying $15 for entry. and im racist. uh huh. against my own. but u guys already knew that. =)

for now.

Later ; 12:39 PM ; 0 comments

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

why musT blog posTS have titLEs?


-its abt 27 mins before the last episode of desperate housies on Tv. not that i follow it religiously, but u know. last episode. and im not rushin to finish up any lame-ass work that i normally have to. or am i. ah i'll finish readin those 50pages of statistics for tomorrow's psychology lab later. eventually i'm sure i'll finish it. albeit at 4am in the mornin after everyone else has gone to sleep and left me alone, without a soul to chat with. since my lab tutor is absolutely hopeless at providing whatever assistance we need, if i dun read this damn chapter i will have no idea what im doin at lab tmr. which has been the case for the past 2 weeks. thank you charles for your lab book from last year. u have officially been crowned saviour of the year. my saviour at least.

-think im feelin in a better mood today. pms over? nah. its not even here yet. which is irritatin the hell outta me coz i hate surprises. uh huh. there should be a bell that rings or an announcement in our heads that yells 'period comin today please wear pad or prepare to be very sorry'. *Grrrrrr* annoying...

-start of another week. of uni. of work. of assignments. of boredom, stress and retardism. fruckkkk..another...11 weeks. teaching weeks that is..so...14 weeks till holidays? damn i cant wait. and shit spring is coming. which means summer is coming. and i hate summer. *whine whine whine*

-oh shit i just remembered i have 2 ilectures to listen to. crap. DAMMIT. now im pissed. and now i think im really goin to hafta go to bed at 4am. which is why i should get off typin this damn thing and do some work. but its 10 mins till tv time. great. my life is wonderful. and i hate school.

buggeRed

Later ; 11:31 AM ; 0 comments

Sunday, August 07, 2005

the feelings, unexplainable

-hell.its been a long time. may? that was 3 month ago. well thats what school does to pple i guess. esp pple like me. exams were somewhere in june..went back for 3 weeks un july..so i guess its about right.

-so much has happened. as usual. its a shame im too lazy to type it up for the record every so often. oh well. will just have to deal with the lack of details i guess.

-in the most recent month..ive felt things ive never felt for someone before..had experiences like none before..said things i hardly ever say or have never said before...its beginnin to scare me..im scaring myself...past experiences have taught me to be skeptical, to always doubt, to expect (not hope for) the worst, that nothing ever lasts and that all good things come to and end...for the first time in my life now i feel like the skepticism is slowly melting away, the doubts are being cleared, and that maybe the worst is not so readily in the near future like it always is...

-but i dunno. a tiny part of me wonders if it'll work out, or if in time i'll be lookin at everything that's happened and hit myself for not seeing what was goin to come all along. i cant help it. by then i suspect i'm goin to take the biggest blow of it all, seeing how fast and far ive fallen into this whole thing. its a bittersweet feeling that i cant explain. happy yet sad. excited yet scared. maybe one day i'll learn to just go with the flow. but isnt that what ive been doin all along? living for the moment? maybe its coz now i actually want this moment to last so i can live in it for a long time. that the moment will become i dont know, more than just the while...i think i'm goin crazy. or is it pms? but my psyc textbook says pms is a pseud0-phenomenon. so it doesnt reallie exist. so is what im feeling and why im feelin the way i am, real?

-im sorry im so scared. and that its goin to take a lot of effort on your part to convince me that this is real and that its all worth it. i want it to work. but what we want we never get, right? i know this time i'm gettin much more than ive given. but i still want more. im sorry im being so unfair, so demanding. i cant help it. i know i have no reason for feelin the way i do, becoz u are so ridiculously amazing. perhaps its greed. perhaps its insecurity. i really dont know. if i could i'd tell u. the littlest things make me the happiest, and have the ability to screw up the way i feel for the whole day. for reasons i dont even know, or if i do, i know i have no right to be pissed/annoyed/upset with u for it. maybe its coz its you. maybe if it were someone else i'd be ok. i wouldnt care.

-gawd.the combination of the amount of work i have and feeling this way is making me very ready to ram my head into the wall. or just sit here and scream silently.

-if you were here it'd be all ok. im pretty sure. yes?

-screw me dead

Later ; 10:42 AM ; 0 comments