Sunday, October 16, 2005

its been a long time cominnnn

-i guess sometimes things happen and u sorta know they were goin to happen anyway. and then ure shocked at urself coz ure not shocked at whats happened. i guess perhaps sometimes the things that happen to us, we've seen then from a long long way away, but we just hoped they wouldnt reach us. not that soon anyway. guess thats life.

-maybe sometimes we need to sit back and take things less literally. or look at things from someone else's point of view before we throw our hands up and say 'omg u are beyond all possible hope and repair'. its hard but yeah. maybe if everyone learnt to sorta do that once in a while, misunderstandings wouldnt happen and relationships wouldnt be so strained and all.

-i guess everyone is entitled to their own view on things, but when u disagree with someone, shouldnt u take it out with them instead of takin it out on them with someone else? i mean like doin it behind their backs. and by this i dont mean like uve tried to tell em and then they kinda dun get it or dun wanna listen and then u give up and u gotta share it with someone coz ure busting inside. its the kind where u just go and express how annoyed and put off u are by them, without them knowing. its hell hard to explain. and i guess im tryin to be tactful about it all coz otherwise i'd be doin the same thing that someone else has done to me. i mean yeah we've had our disagreements and stuff but i dont think i ever thought this could happen. well, at least not from that person. and now i hear what the person has to say. that im a stupid ignorant little girl who really doesnt know anything and who doesnt really care about anything or anyone other than herself. i guess thats rosy retrospection at work, once again. well things like these happen i guess. especially when pple sorta dont bother asking or clarifying stuff they've heard and all. and just sorta make up their minds about u. what can u do then? not much i guess. either way u lose. if u try n get things back, or if u dont. like jeremy says 'damned if u do damned if u dont'.

-i think im at the point in my life where now its like i think ive learnt that these things happen and well once they do there's really not much u can do about it. just be happy with what u have left i guess. the ones that u lose, u'll always look back and be happy, or not, perhaps. but they were experiences. and i wish they lasted for a long long time. but life's like that.-and just for the record, u express ur distrust/dislike/hatred/dissatisfaction with a lotta other things and people as well. dont be a hypocrite and say that im worse than u becoz i expressed mine toward pple that you would apparently never express yours.

-theres a whole heap of stuff i could and want to say. but i wouldnt know how to phrase it tactfully so i wont do it now. maybe when ive had the time to process whats just happened, i'll have a clearer view on things.

-but still, i never knew something like that could trigger off a whole heap of such cutting responses. i think its quite sad, really. becoz i guess i always thought we'd be friends for a long long time. but i guess now to you its been nothing more than a bad experienece and smth that u never want to have to go thru again. well. thats too bad i guess. for me. for u too, maybe. just maybe. im not goin to attempt to say what youre goin to think. becoz whatever i say you'll just say the opposite becoz u always think im wrong and such. even if u wont admit it. but its always been that way. i never minded though. but i guess u always have.

Later ; 5:03 PM ; 0 comments

Saturday, October 15, 2005

-finally, time that i have where i actually have nothing to do. is that sentence even gramatically correct? ah hoo cares..

-seems that my days start after 12am. geex what is wrong with me. i cant sleep before 5am, n i cant get outta the bed (even if im awake in it) before 4pm. and then its study study study from 4- whatever time the crazy friends i have decide its time to go out. and what is with my parents allowing all these late nights suddenly? not that im complaining or anything. JUST WONDERING, i can wonder cant i...

-shittteee helllll crapppp. exams in 3 weeks. approximately. before some pple run towards me with a knife screaming '4 weeks lah where got 3 weeks dont anyhow scare pple ok!!!'. yes. about 3 weeks. which means my ass is closer to getting fried on those exam room chairs. im usually panicky about exams but this time its like. REALLY REALLY PANICKY. why the hell teachers/lecturers here have to give u notes, and then make u buy a textbook, and then give u extra readings (make u buy rather not give), and THEN give u RECOMMENDED readings. i mean hello just tell us what we NEED TO KNOW FOR THE DAMN BLARDEE HELL EXAM. SHEEEEET. 1 textbook is like 1000 pages. 1 unit has like 2 texts. 4 units thats like 8000 pages to read ON TOP OF LECTURE NOTES. okok fine not all units have textbooks. but STILL. u get my point. *whine whine whine whine*

-eh farking jeremy. u are supposed to be at my house NOW and we're still talkin on msn. when u read this i hope u feel very very sorry for making me wait for u to pick me up on YOUR birthday d:) apparently ure leaving soon. lets see how much of a liar u are..waAHhahah okok...

-i hate periods. and i hate girls. which periods are a part of. being a girl. get it. farkkk i stained my chair again. wahhaHAhahaa. and like i offer my chair to pple hoo come to my room lah. how nice am i. its like..they dunno. shhhhh...*grinx very widely*

-FARKING GIRLSSSSSSSS...i guess it applies to guys as well but i hate girls in general and the person who keeps pissing me off is a girl. so, FARKING GIRLSSSS =) some pple just dunno wen enuff is enuff man. i mean, as if one time is not enuff they have to go do it again and again. and they know that you'll find out. i mean hello when will u learn to back off bitch....i thought u learnt something after all these years. obviously it all went down the drain soon as i left. and yes i do know what u do darling. i aint stupid and i aint blind either. anyway u prolly cant figure out what the hell im talkin about even if u read this coz ure so ignorant. i guess some pple will never learn. and unfortunately for some pple, knowledge does not come with age. and those who think im talkin about them, its prolly not u. its more likely to be the one that doesnt think i could be talkin abt her. i mean, am i that horrible i'd say stuff like that abt her and oh gosh what did she even do wrong in the first place? like i said. ignorance. and ignorance aint bliss.

-oh jay chou is such a bad singer omg i think ive mentioned this before. either here or to someone. if he took a singing exam he'd fail for SUREEEEE...arghhhhhhhh i cant stand his frickin voice omg. its so annoying...

-currently in lust with daniel powter's new single- free loop. its soo catchy. and it has the words 'one nite stand' in it. but no he's not being dirty. he's being nice. sigh...nice guys.. where? where? gimme gimme..........

-guess i'd better get ready. someone claims to have left 2 mins ago.

girl-bashing

Later ; 3:30 PM ; 0 comments

Monday, October 10, 2005

Im sick of this sickness *Ulaw save me

-here's the intelligent post, for those who've read the soundwave one before this. well, maybe not intelligent but its not the superficial crap i hate..

-suddenly i feel like the things ive been sure of in my life, im not so sure of anymore. its as if im standing in the middle of a massive sandstorm and the house thats been around me has fallen apart in front of my face. the things ive found solace and security in, are all of a sudden, not so securing anymore..

-it seems as though everytime i finally get what i want, it doesnt seem so right for me anymore. like with the car, when i didnt have it i was so sure that car was made for me. now its like i want a new one coz this one doesnt run fast enough. is there always goin to be something that we're not satisfied with? with some things u can just give up, get another one. but with some, like cars, u cant just scrap em and be done with it after a while. is it ever possible to find something that is so right for u that it could never be wrong? or is there always that chance of there being something that ure unsatisfied with? and then if that happens time and time again, can u keep running away from or givin up whatever it is? or do u stick around and try to work something out even if u arent sure how things'll be like in time to come? this is so applicable to everything in life it seems.- i just wish everything was perfect. there's such irony in that word, dont you think? nothing's ever perfect yet we have a word for a situation where nothing is wrong with it. but there's never that time when there's nothing wrong with something. becoz just when u think u have it all, it falls apart right in front of ur face. and then u have to decide if u want to pick up the pieces and build ur 'perfect' up again, or just leave it and try to find something that wont ever fall apart.

-if everyone thinks something is good for u, does that necessarily means it is good for you? i think ive learnt another lesson in life. and thats not to tell pple everything that happens. because then u are very accountable for ur actions. and trust me, there is no one in this world who isnt interested in knowing why u do the things u do. and they will do all they can to make sure they know all about it.

-everything feels so different. please give me back my 'perfect'. becoz i seem to have lost it. if i ever did have it to begin with.

Later ; 11:09 AM ; 0 comments

souNDwaVe 2005 graVity games

-i should really be listenin to the linguistics lecture i missed the other day. or be typin up the 600 words that i need to complete the the stupid psyc essay thats due tmr. however, wanting to type smthing on this blog has become a power too strong to resist. and no, i do not have a blog addiction.

-last nite was SOUNDWAVE. i dont think ive enjoyed myself this much in a very long time. i guess it was well worth the $48.50 spent. we were there at like..i dunno. just before 5 or something. it was very disorienting coz there were so many pple, and they'd swaped the set-up of the place very different from last year. everything was switched around so the stage was at the blardee opposite end to where it was last yr. anyway, after a lot of following pple who were obviously there for the concert (u can tell a punk anytime), we finally found the right queue which was the one we'd started out at in the first place....i dunno why pple were walking to and fro all around the place. and i dunno why the hell we were following them either. as jeremy would say.' the herd mentality'. i think we finally got in the gates at about 6? i really cant remember. anyway we got a good spot. sorta slightly to the left of the centre of the stage. unfortunately this wasnt goin to be a 'good' spot for very long

-by the time goldfinger and reel big fish had played, the crowd was pretty much in kookoo mode. body surfing and all that shit that makes u lose ur shoes in the process and apart from having random pple touch u all over, u get pulled (or should i say dragged) by security off these poor pple and chased off. and i missed catching goldfinger's guitar pick, THREE FRICKIN TIMES. damn it. i mean, it happened so many times i had this feeling he wanted ME to catch it thats why he kept throwing it over here. but the stupid picks kept fallin on the floor, OVER the barricade which obviously no one can go over except security. then u get these screamin girls who really dun care abt the bands and who're just there coz apparently punk is in fashion now, who jump and beg for the security guys to pick the picks up and give em to them. i wasnt about to do that. not even if the pick was meant for me. which it prolly wasnt anyway.

-Johnny from reel big fish is my new hero. shit. his trumpetting is damn amazing.

-uLaw was no disppointment. except they didnt play rest of my life...oh well. at least my fotos of them this year are actually pretty damn good. im quite proud of myself. i mite put a few up here if i can be bothered later.

-being able to sing all the songs that a band plays is very amp-ing =) it gets u really amped up. esp when the band it uLaw, and ure this close to them. scott's still hot even though he has a uh...really gross beer belly..

-cog is a damn wierd band. sorry to those who know them and like em. i have no idea who they are, and seriously their songs are frickin wierd. and does their drummer really NEED ALL THAT GEAR FOR HIS KIT??

-by the time uLaw had finished playing, me n jeremy were being pushed in every possible way in every possible direction. i dunno how many times my belt had been pushed into my stomach coz pple shoved me in front and i hit the farking barricade. and my boobs were at the best height to be bashed against the top of the barricade. my whole body is so frickin sore now from last nite. esp legs and back..

-we're both not a fan of grinspoon so we decided to clear ourselves from the front..and jeremy had to go to the toilet. which ended up being against the fence behind some small building thing which i think was a toilet but had no lights so no one could see anything...so all these guys were pissing at the back and jeremy decided he'd join the piss club.-after we walked back to the maccas we'd parked the car at, and gettin a drink..oh. i wanted a float, n the lady said they dun do floats anymore. so i told her to charge me for a sprite and an ice cream, but put the ice cream in the drink. so she said ok.came back with the farking thing with a LID ON. HELLO wtf. u PUT ICE CREAM IN THE DRINK AND PUT THE LID BACK ON? A FLAT LID OK NOT THE STUPID DOME ONES. i was like. ok..great. anyways as i was saying. after all that, we went to northbridge to eat.fark we spend 25 bux at one of those typical cheena restaurant places. jeremy lah go and order sambal kang kong. ah well. here's the fun part. some guy ran in front of the car when we were goin back..jeremy didnt see so thank goodness i screamed so he breaked. beeped at the guy. the guy ran across quickly to the other side. next thing u know, this other guy rans right smack into the side of our car. i mean how stupid can u get? wtf

-anyways got home at i dunno...1+. by the time i did sum reading and shit, i ended up goin to bed at ard 4.-theres the soundwave day for u. and i always say i hate pple who write about their day in their blogs coz its very unintelligent.......................

-i'll type and intelligent post later

Later ; 11:09 AM ; 0 comments

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Here's to the mourning

-sheesh it seems like its been ages since ive done this. i dont think ive ever been so busy in my life. but i guess it always seems that way. u look back on stuff and u think it wasnt THAT bad. here's rosy retrospection at work for ya.-4 assignments due within the next 3 weeks, and straight after its exams. i mean, do these lecturer pple think that we only do their unit? HELLLOOO we do 4...well most of us anyway. how'd u expect us to do 2000-word essays and then get high distinctions on our exams at the same time? whaddya think we are..YOU?? damnit.

-hopefully after i manage to get this linguistics assignment in on fri, and finish up the stupid psyc one by monday, the other 2 will be relatively better. oh, and for those of u who're interested in knowing how lame some assignments can be, here's my psyc essay question - who influences adolescents: parents or peers? screw me dead...

-IM GOIN TO SEE UNWRITTEN LAW ON SATURDAY!!! AHHHH!!! and grinspoon and reel big fish and goldfinger too but..UNWRITTEN LAW!! yay...they mustve liked it here last year when they came so they're here again for the gravity games....im so excited i hope its a good day on sat. no rain or shit. and i hope jeremy manages to get tix tmr...if they sell out im gonna be oh -so-pissed. im already missing the used. DAMN SHIT! and the lady at the box office said there's a few hunderd tix left so im hoping no one starts luving these bands overnite. thanks jeremieeeeeeeeee for goin with me..even though we both have essays due monday..=) i owe u dude.

-ok here's some educational talk. seeing im very educated.. wahAHHAHAhahAH there goes the joke of the century. last sat me n jeremy went to murdoch n curtin uni libraries to borrow books for our assignments..coz stupid UWA library books on our topics were mostly borrowed out coz of those early birds. i learn my lessons from things like these. pfft. (oh did i mention how pathetic i am. i have 23 books sittin here and they're as tall as my table when they're stacked up) anyways. we got to curtin n we were so lost coz we both've never been there before. made me think, we take familiarity for granted so often. we walk around our own unis or wherever and we dont even think about it. until we go somewhere else, then we realize how much we've slipped into what now seems so easy to do but seemed nearly impossible a few months ago. that made me think. is familiarity good? does its good outweigh its bad? or does familiarity really breed contempt? do we get so used to things that we take them for granted?-then that sorta extended into me wondering...if we become so comfortable and familiar with something/someplace/someone, is that a good thing? or does that blind us to what we really need/want/like? could we, being content with what we have, be immune to the various better things/situations around us? then dont we miss out becoz we think we have what we want so we dont bother looking anymore? until perhaps something else comes along, a better uni building maybe, do we realize that what we have right now isnt what we really want, and that we could have smthing better? maybe its human nature never to be content with anything for a long time. we habituate very easily. think about this. but if anyone does actually read this, dont ask me what im on about coz im not goin to tell u. oh, id like a new car please.-i suddenly want to see Something Corporate live. wtf is wrong with me. i must learn to be content. aye. but contentment is bad, right? see how screwed up i am.

-i should try n sleep. if life is really that great as some pple say, i will manage to get out of bed by 12, text jeremy to remind him abt gettin tix, and when i call prof colin macleod he will be in his office and will tell me what exactly to read for his topic for the exams. AND i will be able to finish reading whatever it is he tells me to read, and get at least 1000 words on my stupid essay. which would make it 1300.

the 16th of november seems so far away. which reminds me. it'll be the birthdays of 2 people that were once extremely close to my heart. it seems that in life, people really do come and go. and that nothing lasts that horrible word that starts with for and ends with ever.over n out. flat on the floor.

Later ; 6:45 PM ; 0 comments